This is your very first post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post. If you like, use this post to tell readers why you started this blog and what you plan to do with it.
“Do you want to have a medium-sized pizza or a regular?”
“Erm…I’ll have a (if I have a regular then maybe I’ll stay hungry, a large will be sufficient. No but what if the large is too large and I can barely finish it. Let me order a regular. Yeah! regular it is, but wait, what if the regular is too tiny, what then? I’ll stay hungry or I’ll have to cook something up).
“Ah, Sir? Your order please?”
“I think I’ll have two regular pizzas, no wait a large one. (why don’t I order a medium, stupid me!) Yeah, make it medium.
“Sir, do you need soda?”
“Soda, yeah I do”
“Medium or large?”
Keeps thinking while the waitress stands impatiently switching from one foot to another.
Almost all of us have met a person in our lives who is in dilemma for ordering stuff, taking decisions, making plans, ordering food, getting to a place on time etc. etc. It’s tough to be friends with such a person but it’s even more tough to ‘be that person’. When people are waiting to hear your answer about something and you are twitching in your seat suddenly burdened with the herculean task of making a decision, with all impatient eyes on you. That anguish you feel with the ticking of the clock, those eyebrows getting more arched, and the foreheads getting more creased. Those sighs you hear once you’ve put an end to your indecisiveness. It’s like you’re being asked to go to war and you have to make a decision immediately. Come on people don’t be hard on these folks.
This is just another 10 ways to not be the confused soul amongst your circle of friends from another confused soul.
- Check up the menu on the internet- If your going to a restaurant, check up the menu on the internet beforehand. Decide for 3 friggin’ hours what you might order once you’re seated on the table. So that you know, the waitress and your friends are saved from the plight of hearing you decide for hours. Decide the size, the course etc. etc. beforehand and order like a pro later.
- Bring yourself back to the human world- Sometimes the reason us confused people are so confused is that we’re having tea with Alice and Mad Hatter in wonderland. We have a world of our own and suddenly the folks of this realm want us to decide what time we want to hang out with them. Call up Alice hence and ask her to stall Mad Hatter for a little while cause you know, priorities.
- Make Excuses- If you don’t want to go, make excuses. Instead of plainly refusing at the last minute or fail to turn up, say that your fish is sick, or the voice in your head doesn’t want you to go outside today, or that you got to help Aunt Lucy with her laundry and that you promised her two years ago on the very same day that you will.
- Get yourself a partner to quietly take your decisions for you – A few underhand dealings and voila! You’ve managed to save yourself from the ravenous eyes of your comraderie. Give your partner some money or some food scrapings and the deed is done. But do make sure that they do not spill the beans or you are done for the day.
- When in doubt, act busy – Whenever you cannot decide whether you want to hangout or not or whether you would be able to get out of your bed on a sunday and not pretend like you have a severe headache (I always do that, and it works 99% of the time, I don’t know how my folks always fall for that) or an excruciating pain in your pinky’s nail just act super busy. Say that you have to address this conference at this place where people have gathered to fight for the rights of the house fly or that you’ve got to attend this meeting at the United Nations with regards to people of Larkaykistan whatever suits you best.
- Blame it on non-existent people – If you’re late and you had promised to be there on time say that your fourth cousin Anonymous Pollyanna visited you from Neverland and man she can talk or better yet, blame it on Yoda, because nobody checks up on Yoda.
- Vis Major – This is the coolest thing ever! Vis Major a.k.a. Act of God always comes to the rescue. Blame it on the weather, the sunshine, or that it was too cloudy to drive or too windy for your ABS system to work.
- Use the ‘I don’t feel like it’ – Say that you don’t feel like eating, you don’t feel like ordering yourself, you don’t feel like hanging out, you don’t feel like meeting humans cause you’re in a communion with aliens and they don’t want you to see any humans. Best way ever bro!
- Take a peek at the table next to yours- Take a peek at the table on your side and order the very same. Thus, problem solved, provided they don’t sue you in the court for infringement of their right to privacy or they have not copyrighted their order for then you’re in trouble.
- Say the first thing that comes to your mind- Whatever comes to your mind first, say it, so that nobody has to wait for 6-7 hours for you to take a decision. If it’s yes say it, if it’s, no I’ve to go to the dentist to get all my teeth removed and get a brand new shiny pair of golden dentures say it. Everyone wants to know the truth.
Always remember that nobody is going to judge you if you order something silly (atleast not to your face) or if you say no to a plan everybody has agreed to, nobody will get angry (who am I kidding, they’ll beat you black and blue). Take your time and give your answer because people are waiting and they’ll grow old and weird if you don’t.
This is an additional placeholder post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post.
This is an additional placeholder post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post.
someonelikeyou8 